How Cancer Impacts Children of Different Ages
Children have different needs and different reactions to
stress at various ages.
By keeping
in mind the developmental level of your child, you can select the types of
interventions that will be most effective in helping your child cope with
cancer in the family.
Below is a
brief outline of the common reactions to stress and confusion for children of
different ages, followed by general ideas to minimize these problematic
responses.
Remember, not all
children fit smoothly into their age categories so trust your instincts when it
comes to helping your child.
The
reactions build from one age to another, so anything that is typical for a
younger child may come up again as a child develops.
Infants (birth-1½)
Reactions
to stress:
Disturbance
in eating and sleeping
Upset,
fearful behavior
Inability
to be comforted
How
to help:
Keep
routines consistent
Lower
levels of stimulation (noise, light, etc)
Don’t
change caregivers unless absolutely necessary
Toddlers (1½ -3)
Reactions
to stress:
Return
to security behaviors, like thumb sucking
Loss
of previously gained skills
“Meltdowns”,
temper tantrums
How
to help:
Consistent schedules, like bedtime
Give the child some choices or opportunities for control
Distract from things that trigger the stress
Preschoolers (3-6)
Reactions
to stress:
Nightmares
and other nighttime disturbances
Clingy,
dependent behavior
Being
“too good”
How
to help:
Lots
of opportunities to play out worries
Help
child to identify feelings
Provide
simple explanations for unfamiliar events
School-agers (6-12)
Reactions
to stress:
Worry
and sadness
Physical
complaints
Anger
and lack of cooperation
Problems
at school
Problems
with friends
Withdrawal
and isolation
How
to help:
Provide
accurate information
Give
reassurance about child’s health
Maintain
clear rules and expectations
Adolescents (12-18)
Reactions
to stress:
Unusual
hostility and defiance
Extreme
and unpredictable mood changes
Avoidance
of friends and normal activities
Problems
with substance use, like alcohol
How
to help:
Provide
privacy
Treat
with respect as an emerging adult
Give
complete information, at an adult level
Encourage
strong peer relationships